Who You Are
by cherrrrrriiiiieeee
Summary: Bullies are everywhere. You see them on the TV, over the internet, and more often then not, High School. High school, a bullies playground, and Kim knows it. Kind of Dark *Anti-Bulling Month 4th Nov-29th Nov 2013* (One-Shot)


**This is only a one shot, but its about bullying, seeing and its near enough anti-bulling month, I thought it would be suitable.**

**And if anyone reading this is being bullied. Tell someone, and trust me, coming from someone who has been through a lot, it gets better :)**

**This is also quite dark. Just warning you.**

**Hope you like it :)**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Who You Are by Jessie J, or Kickin' it**

* * *

I stare at my reflection into mirror

Why am I doing this to myself?

Losing my mind on a tiny error

I nearly left the real me on the shelf

No, no, no, no, no,no

**-0-0-**

Fully dressed and ready for school, I stare into the mirror. My hair perfectly straight and my clothes look immaculate, well at least I think so. They will say something though, I know it. My family don't know, my friends don't know and I don't want them too. Her name is Katie Erikson. She's practically queen bee. Everyone loves her, and she loves you, your world is amazing, if she doesn't, its hell. That's what my life is, if you sum it up with one word : Hell.

The scars on my wrist are faded and barely noticeable, a new one would appear every so often, thats when my favourite foundation comes in, but I haven't done it in a while. 20-something days, I think, I never really cared to keep count, because I would always do it again. I have some on my legs too, scars I mean. I also have a few bruises, some new, some old, some fading, but does it matter? They will come back, even if its them or me, they will come back. My mother calls me down, and I go to school.

**-0-0-**

Don't lose who you are in the blur of the stars

Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing

It's okay not to be okay

Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart

Tears don't mean you're losing

Everybody's bruising

Just be true to who you are

**-0-0- **

I get out of my moms car and wave goodbye. My best friends are waiting for me and I smile at them. They all hug me and we walk into school. Katie never attacks me when I'm around my friends, she's scared of them. But not me, she likes to torment me. I tried to be myself, but it didn't work. Everyone is fake, I think even my friends are a little fake. If everyone was who they were, this world would probably be happy, but they're not, and its not. I have a free period with, surprise surprise, Katie. Stage 1: At first its a little teasing, that I can handle,

"Oh look, Kimmy Crawfish..." "Nice clothes, charity shop I presume?" "Did you get dragged threw a hedge by your hair?!"

Stage 2: Then it gets worse,

"Kim, you should lose a few pounds, gaining it around the tum tum!" "Kim, you have a face only a mother could love, unfortunately she hates it too!"

Stage 3: Then worse,

"Kim, when are going to realise that no one likes you?" "Kim go die!" "Even your own friends hate you!" "The world would be better without you!"

Stage 4: Then if it seemed like it couldn't get any worse...It does. They will shove me about, throw me on the ground. A few kicks to the stomach to start the day. And all that happens in an hour.

Then they throw me over board,

"Kim, if you died they would throw a party. If you died, we would dance on your grave. Your a bitch, no one likes you. WE hate you because you think that your better then everyone. Rot in hell you crazy son of a bitch. Jack hates you. Jerry hates you. Milton hates you. And now, Grace is my best friend, so what are you going to do?" I bolt for the entrance, and leave, with teachers shouting my name, and the kids laughing at me.

** -0-0- **

Brushing my hair, do I look perfect?

I forgot what to do to fit the mould, yeah

The more I try the less it's working, yeah, yeah, yeah

'Cause everything inside me screams

No, no, no, no, no

** -0-0- **

When I get home, my face is stained with dry tears and my eyes are puffy. My hair is bad for all the shoving and my clothes are ripped in some places. It has never been this bad. It was always up to stage 4, it never went past that and now, I'm done. They're right, my friends don't care, my mom doesn't care, and now I don't care. My mom isn't home and the razors are ready in the bathroom. I set up a camera that is resting on a chair, and decide to say goodbye, not that anyone would miss me. The camera turned on and I start to record myself,

"So, A lot of you know me. I'm Kim Crawford. Sorry to those I ever offended or annoyed so much to deserve what I get. Please don't ever feel sorry for me, I know you won't anyway. Don't cry for me, because I deserve this, you said it yourself. I had an opportunity at life and I missed the train. So don't even try to save me. There's nothing left to save."

I shut of the camera, upload it to facebook and walk to the bathroom.

**-0-0-**

Don't lose who you are in the blur of the stars

Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing

It's okay not to be okay

Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart

But tears don't mean you're losing

Everybody's bruising

There's nothing wrong with who you are

**-0-0- **

First its the wall. My fist collides with it, both of them, and you can practically hear the bones breaking. The mirror on the wall falls to the ground and smashes, going everywhere. Take off my socks, surprised I can even and let my bare feet walk over the glass. The little shards stick to my feet, and it hurts, but I don't care. I sit on the toilet seat and take out one of my razors and lightly trace hidden scars, not piercing the skin just yet, and then I press it down. It stings at first and I wince, but it soon goes away and I feel free...

One more.

Another.

Another.

Creating more scars up my arm, multiplying on what I had before, and soon, a lot of blood is pouring out my arm.

Now the next arm.

First one.

Second one.

Third.

Fourth.

And as I start to get to my Fifth. I start to feel dizzy. I smile slightly and create the fifth cut on my arm. I stand with my arms down, and blood dripping everywhere, the floor, my clothes and at first and think its going to happen. Until I look down.

I can see my reflection in one of the mirror pieces and realisation hits me.

I see a strong blonde, Confident and could stand up for herself.

'What happened?' I ask myself. But I am growing more dizzy by the minute.

"I don't want this" I say outloud, but its too late

**-0-0- **

Yes, no's, egos, fake shows like whoa

Just go and leave me alone

Real talk, real life, good luck, good night

With a smile, that's my home, that's my home, no

No, no, no, no, no

**-0-0-**

**[Meanwhile] **

Jack was skimming through his facebook, he wasn't in school that day because he had a dentist appointment later. His facebook was boring, it was either girls with 'Duck face' selfies, or gossiping, when a video from Kim showed up. With comments such as,

'Freak...' 'Attention seeker!' 'Hah, Pathetic...'

She looks like she has been crying, and her hair is a mess, one of the sleeves of her top is ripped off nearly and she looks broken. Not like the normal Kim that is full of life, no this Kim is broken. Jack hesitantly clicks on it and watches it.

_"So, A lot of you know me. I'm Kim Crawford. Sorry to those I ever offended or annoyed so much to deserve what I get. Please don't ever feel sorry for me, I know you won't anyway. Don't cry for-"_ He only has to go through the first 10 seconds before he realises what's going on. Grabbing a jacket, shoes, keys and his phone, he runs down the stairs, out of his house and to his truck, calling Kim's mother in the process,

_**Ringg..Ringg...Ringg..Ringg...Rin-**_

_**Jack what is it I'm in an important meeting.**_

"Its about Kim!"

_**What about my daughter? Look Jack I don't have time for-**_

"I think she's going to kill herself! There was a video on facebook, just... hurry!" He hung up the phone, and drove, way over the speed limit, to Kim's. He arrived in just under five minutes, and ran to the front door, trying to open it. Kim's mom, she got there quick, jumps to the door and opens it with her keys. Sirens can be heard in the distance, and Jack runs upstairs.

The bathroom door is open, and Kim is lying, nearly, almost, lifeless. Jack picks her up, off the glass and moves her down the floor, grabbing any possible towels to stop the bleeding. The parademics come in with a gurney and strap her too it. And with that, she was off.

**-0-0-**

Don't lose who you are all in the blur of the stars

Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing

It's okay not to be okay

Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart

Tears don't mean you're losing

Everybody's bruising

Just be true to who you are

**-0-0-**

My eyes fluttered open. I could see a white light bright and I was very comfy,

"Am I in heaven?" I thought out loud, but it was barely above a whisper,

But when I heard Jacks voice, I knew I wasn't. It took a few minutes to readjust to what was going on, my head somewhat dizzy, but I recomposed myself and I slowly sat up. I couldn't see my mother but I swore I heard her while I was asleep. In my 'sleep' I thought this all was a dream, and I was still silently wishing it was. I was still guilty and it wouldn't leave, the feeling was undescribable, but It didn't feel good. Jack was talking on the phone and I didn't want to disturb him, but he turned around and soon he saw me awake. He hung up the phone and came and sat on the chair next to me,

"Are you okay?" He asks me, full on concern. I nod, not being able to get words out,

"Why, Kim?" He says, focusing his eyes on my wrists, which are now sewn together with bandages around them,

"I-I-I don't know," My voice, all croaky, says, as if I'm not controlling it,"I just, I hate what they do to me and I wasn't thinking straight and-"

"Shh, tell me later, just sleep." He says, calming me down and kissing my forhead. I lean back closing my eyes,

"Thank you." I manage to whisper before darkness overwhelms me, and I feel full again. Like the girl I was before all this. I feel like myself. Like no one can hurt me anymore. I am who I am.

**-0-0-**

Tears don't mean you're losing

Everybody's bruising

_Just be true to who you are_


End file.
